tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post6619046734820267900..comments2013-01-24T04:10:06.362-05:00Comments on Schlabotnick: Taking My Daughter to StarbucksBrian Fayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421550048487521540noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-72518134170641549232011-04-07T07:32:43.306-04:002011-04-07T07:32:43.306-04:00As I am not a writer I can't comment intellige...As I am not a writer I can't comment intelligently on such things as cadence, etc. But I love the honesty. Find the time to keep writing. Make the time. It's your happiness.Chris Murray Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15741857914758162353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-87312561820986654492011-04-06T21:35:33.327-04:002011-04-06T21:35:33.327-04:00I made a change there, Carol, and hope it's cl...I made a change there, Carol, and hope it's clearer. Thanks for reading!Brian Fayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421550048487521540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-13136454079350890572011-04-06T21:18:43.126-04:002011-04-06T21:18:43.126-04:00"and out the window stare a girl and her moth..."and out the window stare a girl and her mother" was where I began to be confused or something.Carol Mikodahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12732498924764375810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-69456281060302263742011-04-06T19:29:23.061-04:002011-04-06T19:29:23.061-04:00Bonnie, thank you so much! That's about the ni...Bonnie, thank you so much! That's about the nicest thing I've heard all day. My friend!Brian Fayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421550048487521540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-67387130003733974882011-04-06T19:24:37.932-04:002011-04-06T19:24:37.932-04:00Sounds like you are leading down the path of a cre...Sounds like you are leading down the path of a creative artist with a rich source of material.<br />BonnieBonnie Khttp://blkdrama.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-52935238605955970102011-04-06T19:22:41.211-04:002011-04-06T19:22:41.211-04:00Ben, thank you for reading it. I bet that the cade...Ben, thank you for reading it. I bet that the cadence is a bit off for anyone. It feels rough and the transitions between speakers and the two locations isn't what I would like it to be.<br /><br />I appreciate your comment. Thank you again.Brian Fayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421550048487521540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-55494029885089583652011-04-06T19:20:28.397-04:002011-04-06T19:20:28.397-04:00I like it. It's different. The cadence is off ...I like it. It's different. The cadence is off for me but I still like it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17198444165324811077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3542875961557698584.post-9085180064994748772011-04-06T19:09:42.022-04:002011-04-06T19:09:42.022-04:00It's bad form to comment on your own stuff, bu...It's bad form to comment on your own stuff, but I wanted to say up front that it has been a while since I've written anything even vaguely poetic and just as long since I've read any poetry, so this one is...well, I'm not sure. Still, it felt good to be back in the writing saddle, so I figured, why not post it? Let me know what you think.Brian Fayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421550048487521540noreply@blogger.com